Over 25 years ago, my younger sister and I were both pregnant at the same time. She was young, it was her first child, and she was beginning to worry about labor. She made the
mistake wise choice of coming to me with her fears. Having been through it once already, I felt qualified to respond to her concern.
Being the honest person that I am, I did not intend to mislead her. So I smiled, put my arm around her shoulder and said, “It hurts like hell.”
As panic started to fill her eyes, I quickly tried to put her fears to rest. “But it’s all worth it,” I said. “Would I be doing it a second time if it weren’t?”
That seemed to help a little, but I could see she was teetering on the edge of the pit of labor pain anxiety. So I sat her down, and let her in on my discovery.
The cure to labor pain anxiety is really quite natural. You simply continue your daily routines and recreations as your growing stomach takes over your body. Magically, around the eighth month of pregnancy, the prospect of labor being “uncomfortable” starts to fade from your mind. Believe it or not, you might even start looking forward to those first telltale contractions.
This cure is guaranteed. Just ask any woman who is in her ninth month of pregnancy if she is concerned about pain during childbirth. On second thought, that may not be a good idea.
Let me explain exactly how this labor pain anxiety cure works. It all begins on or about the eighth month, when pregnancy ceases to be enjoyable or exciting. You wake up one morning and realize that your body hurts more than it did when you went to bed the night before. Just imagine trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in with a medicine ball implanted in your womb; you get the picture.
Many women will notice that some of their vital organs may begin to ache as the child they carry turns into a boxer and uses them as punching bags. That’s only the eighth month.
During the ninth month, the anxiety continues to diminish as you try to carry on a somewhat normal existence. You’ll notice that your back hurts most of the time and you waddle when you walk. Climbing out of a sofa at this point becomes an Olympic event. Going up a flight of stairs or simply trying to converse with someone can be compared to running the hundred yard dash. You huff and puff wondering who cut your lung capacity in half.
The final two weeks are the most effective part of the cure. No major projects can be started and you don’t dare travel too far from home in case you go into labor. Your life is virtually put on hold waiting and wondering. Will I go into labor today or next week? Or what if I’m late? Or dear god! I’ll go nuts! All of this builds and builds until one day you scream “I don’t care how much it hurts, I want to have this baby NOW!” That’s when you know your labor pain anxiety is gone.
It may sound as if Mother Nature messed up and made pregnancy about two months too long. I assure you, She knew exactly what She was doing. Ask any woman in her eighth or ninth month of pregnancy if, given a choice, she would prefer labor or another two months of pregnancy. Just be sure to duck when you ask.