Sports Fan Itis

I have some shocking news to report. Believe it or not, there are people walking amongst us who are NOT sports fans.
GASP!                        Oh my word!                       This can’t be!FedExField_Redskins_fans

I know, I know. It’s hard to believe, isn’t it? Some kind of DNA deficiency perhaps. Or maybe they weren’t raised right, one too many dance classes or science camps. Their parents should have planted their butts in front of that sports game and MADE  them cheer on the team, yay ya!

Well, I have a confession to make; I HATE sports! Not just some, all of them. Except, of course, when my kids or grandkids are participating in them, then I’m their biggest fan.

I just love how sports fans assume that EVERYONE  is invested in some sport or another. Fictional conversation at a dinner party, “What did ya think of that game last night?”

“Ah, what game?”

“The BIG one! You know.”

“Um, no, sorry. I don’t care for sports.”

“Oh. Ah, okay.”

“You can leave now. You don’t have to pretend to be polite.”

“You sure? Thanks man! See ya!” “Jim may! What a game last night, wasn’t it?”, as he chest bumps with other man who shares his love of sports. (Sorry sports fans, just kidding.)

A year or so ago, some championship game was about to happen. It may have been the superbowl, but I really don’t remember. Before the big game, a Facebook friend messaged me asking, “So which team do you want to win?”

“I’m not a sports fan,” I replied. “So, I really don’t care.” I haven’t heard from said friend since.

In defense of all you sports fans out there, I think a similar argument can be made against parents. Don’t we all just assume that everyone has children, or has been around children, or at least likes children? It’s our way of connecting. You meet a stranger, and you try to find something that you both have in common in order to form some kind of bond. It’s human nature.

Do I run screaming in the other direction when someone turns on ESPN or Fox Sports? Of course not. I just calmly get up and stand in front of the television…..not really. I don’t mind watching a game or two if it means that I get to spend some time with people who I love and care about.

I have even gone to a live professional sporting event a time or two in my life. It’s just not something I do as a pastime. I believe that if my kids ever found me sitting in front of a sports show, they would immediately check my pulse then dial 911, because they would assume I probably had a stroke.


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